Bugzy Malone - Evil Genius Review (My Thoughts)

"7%"

If you are ever feeling a little lost, look no further than this list. It's contains everything you should keep in mind when going through your everyday trails and tribulations. Enjoy.

"7%" Written by Regina Brett

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

The Time I Witnessed The Not So Great Escape...

Cast you mind into the future, you have lived a happy life, maybe you have been married, maybe you have children, maybe you have travelled the world or struck it rich. However no mater what you accomplished, there will always be a decision that you will carry forever. A decision that you would prefer to have changed. It could be a job you wished you had applied for, a risk you wish you had been brave enough to take, a person you wish you spent more (or less) time with. Well that's the beauty of hindsight and as romantic as going back in time sounds it isn't possible, so what do you do?

If you recognise this, you should feel old...this was once a date which at one point felt more distant than the moon itself

Well on a silent winters evening I witnessed someone take their fate into their own hands, they saw an opportunity and seized it, leaving nothing in the hands of fate.

I was coming home from a hard day at work and decided to treat myself to a cheeky pancake roll. As I approached my favourite chinese restaurant I could hear a crackly voice shouting through the darkness. I ignored it at first, as you do, then I heard it again and felt compelled to look around. The words "stop following me!" crumbled from the lips of a pint-sized elderly woman, with hair a white as snow and a coat as dark as soot.

This was strange, who would want to bring harm to such a feeble looking old woman. I looked in the direction of the withered voice, puffed my chest out ready to rescue this pensioner in peril and do my good deed for the day. But at a second glance I realised she didn't need my assistance at all, any intervention would merely have slowed her progress, for she was a woman on a mission, she had a determined look in her eye and moved with a purpose, a lethargic purpose but a purpose none the less. She raised her voice 0.5 decibels higher, "stop following me...I'm, warning you!" shaking her fist as you only see in cartoons.

"Elizabeth i'm just doing my job" a soft voice responds, "Your not doing your job your chasing me... who told you? Julie!?"  I had expected to see a woman being chased by a stranger, a hooded man, up to no good with evil in his eyes and anger in his heart, instead I witnessed a low speed pursuit as Elizabeth steadily yet angrily raised her rollator above the curb to mount the pavement. I casted my eyes across the road to see where Elizabeth the Innocent was escaping from, it was an old peoples home, this elderly woman had waited with baited breath for darkness to fall, to stealthily make her great escape but her efforts were scuppered only due to the sabotage of Julie on reception.

My expectation of the person chasing poor Elizabeth the innocent

What I imagine Julie on reception to look like.

I thought I would wait a moment to see how this panned out, after all where was she escaping to, what was the master plan? Where might an elderly woman want to escape to on a Tuesday evening at 7pm? Where other than the local chip shop! You couldn't make it up, it's a shame she forgot her purse, it was almost a perfectly executed plan.

The appeal of his inviting smile and cod in batter were all too alluring for Elizabeth the Devious

Although Elizabeth the Brave never got her chips that night.  I salute her, she has demonstrated that's it's never to late to take your life in your own hands and go for what you want however big or small and yes there will be Julie's out there that may attempt to slow your progress or stop it in it's tracks but don't let that suppress your desires. Do an Elizabeth and live on the wild side. 

Elizabeth the Sly, master of stealth carried out her duties as usual as to not arise suspicion before the night of the great escape

I'm sure 50 years ago she wouldn't have thought it would have been a challenge to walk to the shops and buy something of her own accord but that's how quickly our goals and perspectives can change. I salute you Elizabeth, next time bribe Julie with a Werthers Original and I'm sure your next mission will be a success.

What Do Women Want?

I heard this joke and found it quite amusing.

"A woman needs four animals in her life: a mink in the closet, a jaguar in the driveway, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for it all"...funny, but could there be any truth in it? Could women be that shallow?

What do women want? It's the age old question that has been irking men for years. Four simple words. This is probably the most frequently asked question that has never had a definitive answer. What do women want? It has been a topic of discussion of hapless men all over the world since the dawn of man and it recently became the topic of discussion between a few of my friends. I'm sure many smarter men than us have asked this question and failed to achieve an answer (even Sigmund Freud gave up after 30 years of research!) but hey, why not give it a go, lets find out what the average East London lad thinks women want.

I gather a few friends and go straight for it "What do you think women really want? I ask inquisitively, "A sharp groan comes across the table from an obviously dejected and defeated male. "Listen yeah" he begins "women don't even know what they want, so how would we know!" A cackle of laughs akin to a pack of hyenas rapture around the room. 'Naah, have you seen my car, they like nice cars" interjects another. "Ahh...so that's why you got that car?" ponders someone else. After a series of jokes I quickly realised this wasn't getting us anywhere, until someone shouted out, "what about what we want!?"

Worked for him, kinda...

Interesting, I thought. After all, in a successful relationships one of many decisive factors is the ability to  meet each others needs. So I changed my stance...what do we want from women? It actually turned out that our list was pretty short and slightly unrealistic. "They need to make a specifications tab on Tinder" quips one, "I'd search for a good cook that doesn't talk through Match of the Day, then I'd set my location to within 15m" He chuckles. The room erupts with laughter again. As the evening wore on and the alcohol vanished from our glasses, one thing was certain, we still had no idea of what women wanted, but at least we had achieved something, intoxication. We decided to call it a night and left in our blissful ignorance.

Ultimately, although we all have the same core fundamental needs of physiological, safety, love and belonging, esteem and self-actualisation (fulfilling your potential) everyone is different and you cant tarnish everyone with the same brush, all women aren't indecisive and emotionally needy and all men are not self confident and able to put up a shelf.

We've all been there!

In my opinion we all have the same needs but in order to satisfy them for a woman you need to put in a bit more effort. For example, men like to be listened to when they have a story to tell, women like to be listened to all the time. Men occasionally like to be complimented, women like to be complimented all the time. But in the end i'm just as stumped as the other 3.5 billion males in this lonely world. Maybe it's the kind of assumption from the opening sentence as to where men have been going wrong all along? So to surmise, what do women want? Why don't you ask them?