The Time I Witnessed The Not So Great Escape...

Cast you mind into the future, you have lived a happy life, maybe you have been married, maybe you have children, maybe you have travelled the world or struck it rich. However no mater what you accomplished, there will always be a decision that you will carry forever. A decision that you would prefer to have changed. It could be a job you wished you had applied for, a risk you wish you had been brave enough to take, a person you wish you spent more (or less) time with. Well that's the beauty of hindsight and as romantic as going back in time sounds it isn't possible, so what do you do?

If you recognise this, you should feel old...this was once a date which at one point felt more distant than the moon itself

Well on a silent winters evening I witnessed someone take their fate into their own hands, they saw an opportunity and seized it, leaving nothing in the hands of fate.

I was coming home from a hard day at work and decided to treat myself to a cheeky pancake roll. As I approached my favourite chinese restaurant I could hear a crackly voice shouting through the darkness. I ignored it at first, as you do, then I heard it again and felt compelled to look around. The words "stop following me!" crumbled from the lips of a pint-sized elderly woman, with hair a white as snow and a coat as dark as soot.

This was strange, who would want to bring harm to such a feeble looking old woman. I looked in the direction of the withered voice, puffed my chest out ready to rescue this pensioner in peril and do my good deed for the day. But at a second glance I realised she didn't need my assistance at all, any intervention would merely have slowed her progress, for she was a woman on a mission, she had a determined look in her eye and moved with a purpose, a lethargic purpose but a purpose none the less. She raised her voice 0.5 decibels higher, "stop following me...I'm, warning you!" shaking her fist as you only see in cartoons.

"Elizabeth i'm just doing my job" a soft voice responds, "Your not doing your job your chasing me... who told you? Julie!?"  I had expected to see a woman being chased by a stranger, a hooded man, up to no good with evil in his eyes and anger in his heart, instead I witnessed a low speed pursuit as Elizabeth steadily yet angrily raised her rollator above the curb to mount the pavement. I casted my eyes across the road to see where Elizabeth the Innocent was escaping from, it was an old peoples home, this elderly woman had waited with baited breath for darkness to fall, to stealthily make her great escape but her efforts were scuppered only due to the sabotage of Julie on reception.

My expectation of the person chasing poor Elizabeth the innocent

What I imagine Julie on reception to look like.

I thought I would wait a moment to see how this panned out, after all where was she escaping to, what was the master plan? Where might an elderly woman want to escape to on a Tuesday evening at 7pm? Where other than the local chip shop! You couldn't make it up, it's a shame she forgot her purse, it was almost a perfectly executed plan.

The appeal of his inviting smile and cod in batter were all too alluring for Elizabeth the Devious

Although Elizabeth the Brave never got her chips that night.  I salute her, she has demonstrated that's it's never to late to take your life in your own hands and go for what you want however big or small and yes there will be Julie's out there that may attempt to slow your progress or stop it in it's tracks but don't let that suppress your desires. Do an Elizabeth and live on the wild side. 

Elizabeth the Sly, master of stealth carried out her duties as usual as to not arise suspicion before the night of the great escape

I'm sure 50 years ago she wouldn't have thought it would have been a challenge to walk to the shops and buy something of her own accord but that's how quickly our goals and perspectives can change. I salute you Elizabeth, next time bribe Julie with a Werthers Original and I'm sure your next mission will be a success.