The Time They Had a Holiday Romance

Holiday Romances, everyone's had one, haven't they? Chances are if you have been on holiday you have been in a relationship that has swept you off your feet, got you into situations that you didn't expect and left you quivering for more. Broadly they come in two forms.

The Fraudulent

If you've ever been to Jamaica, you will notice there are guys just chilling and walking around the beach with seemingly nothing to do. They are known as Beach Boys and have quite a reputation. Beach Boys generally seek out a female tourist, sweet talk her panties off, make her feel like the sun shines from her anus, mentally and physically transport them into the stratosphere, only for her to come crashing down to earth once she finds out that he is after one of 2 things, her money or marriage. But not marriage for honourable reasons, marriage so he can get his "papers a foreign" aka a visa.

Well it was worth a try wasn't it Susan, after all, maybe you could have been the one to change him. These women can often be found with a pay day loan application in hand screaming..."I thought he loved me!" Nope, "that gannne man" as my dad would say and like a puff of smoke he disappears and is on the prowl for another. Caribbean countries are pretty notorious for this but I hear waiters and bar men in general, specifically those in Turkey, Spain and Greece are prolific at selling dreams.

The Legitimate

You meet someone on holiday that you are instantly attracted to, the feeling is mutual, you end up spending all your time with them, they show you new things, they speak with an accent, they touch your soul spiritually, they blow your mind sexually (you didn't know you were that flexible until you met them), you think about them constantly and then are left wondering what might have been once you board you flight and return to your boring reality. Now some people are fortunate enough to never meet their holiday romance again and can forever live within the memories of their dream relationships. Others however are less fortunate and meet them again only to realise it was not what they thought it was and of course there is also the minority that maintain a good relationship and the minuscule that make it work in the long term.

But why do they happen so frequently and why do they seldom work in reality? Why would you allow yourself to drift into deep water whilst in unfamiliar territory? Particularly when you are at your most vulnerable, but not when you are on a night out on friday in liquid (do people still go there?).

Once again I posed these questions to my trusted network of friends and came out with a variety of answers ranging from, "cos your on holiday innit" to the more thought out response of "on holiday people are more open and relaxed and as a result are more open to new experiences and are less critical of thier partners".

I have to agree and think that the reason we become so quickly besotted with people abroad is due to a few things; we are more open to new experiences, we let go of our inhibitions, we are less critical of the people we meet and we give people a chance, (although the sun, sea and alcohol plays a key role). It also makes me wonder how different this world would be if people were a little less serious and did what they wanted to do rather than what other people think they should. There is a part in the video above which talks about being trapped in someone else's master plan, where all she feels she is doing is almost following a repetitive cycle, like a lemming, "go to school, get a job, get a mortgage". What if rather than reserving that free spirit mind frame for our annual summer holiday, we used it on a day to day basis. Sure nothing would get done, but I'm sure you will be much happier doing it.

Overall, although most people think holiday romances are destined to fail in the long term and they kind of are by definition, I don't think it matters. If you are able to really be yourself around someone, I think you should. Go out there and enjoy yourself, we only have 5 weeks of annual leave a year, best to spend at least 2 of them being happy.

What do you think? Leave your comments below.

What Do Women Want?

I heard this joke and found it quite amusing.

"A woman needs four animals in her life: a mink in the closet, a jaguar in the driveway, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for it all"...funny, but could there be any truth in it? Could women be that shallow?

What do women want? It's the age old question that has been irking men for years. Four simple words. This is probably the most frequently asked question that has never had a definitive answer. What do women want? It has been a topic of discussion of hapless men all over the world since the dawn of man and it recently became the topic of discussion between a few of my friends. I'm sure many smarter men than us have asked this question and failed to achieve an answer (even Sigmund Freud gave up after 30 years of research!) but hey, why not give it a go, lets find out what the average East London lad thinks women want.

I gather a few friends and go straight for it "What do you think women really want? I ask inquisitively, "A sharp groan comes across the table from an obviously dejected and defeated male. "Listen yeah" he begins "women don't even know what they want, so how would we know!" A cackle of laughs akin to a pack of hyenas rapture around the room. 'Naah, have you seen my car, they like nice cars" interjects another. "Ahh...so that's why you got that car?" ponders someone else. After a series of jokes I quickly realised this wasn't getting us anywhere, until someone shouted out, "what about what we want!?"

Worked for him, kinda...

Interesting, I thought. After all, in a successful relationships one of many decisive factors is the ability to  meet each others needs. So I changed my stance...what do we want from women? It actually turned out that our list was pretty short and slightly unrealistic. "They need to make a specifications tab on Tinder" quips one, "I'd search for a good cook that doesn't talk through Match of the Day, then I'd set my location to within 15m" He chuckles. The room erupts with laughter again. As the evening wore on and the alcohol vanished from our glasses, one thing was certain, we still had no idea of what women wanted, but at least we had achieved something, intoxication. We decided to call it a night and left in our blissful ignorance.

Ultimately, although we all have the same core fundamental needs of physiological, safety, love and belonging, esteem and self-actualisation (fulfilling your potential) everyone is different and you cant tarnish everyone with the same brush, all women aren't indecisive and emotionally needy and all men are not self confident and able to put up a shelf.

We've all been there!

In my opinion we all have the same needs but in order to satisfy them for a woman you need to put in a bit more effort. For example, men like to be listened to when they have a story to tell, women like to be listened to all the time. Men occasionally like to be complimented, women like to be complimented all the time. But in the end i'm just as stumped as the other 3.5 billion males in this lonely world. Maybe it's the kind of assumption from the opening sentence as to where men have been going wrong all along? So to surmise, what do women want? Why don't you ask them?

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