Sunday, 15 February 2015

If Valentines Day Wasn't Bad Enough

What's worse than February 14th for single ladies... Monday 16th. If you're lucky, so far you have been able to avoid social media, turned a blind eye to all in-store flower promotions and even managed to side step the hype of the 50 Shades of Grey film (which I have been told is terrible, although that person was a bitter single lady).

I have out lined this day as being even more devastating than the 14th for 2 reasons:

1. Women show off.

Women enjoy talking about themselves, fact, but there is nothing women love sharing more than a story that involves their partner showing their appreciation for them. Better prepare your interested story listening face because the realisation that you are alone will come thick and fast.



Now guys that have a good woman and even those with bad women know they cannot get away with doing nothing for their partner on the day of love (it's just not worth the arguments). So whether they love their woman or hate her with a passion, you can guarantee he did something. Whether it was taking her to Paris and admiring the Eiffel Tower or picking up a bunch of wilted flowers after work from the petrol station, he made sure he ticked that box.

Before...
One thing that women are the brilliant at, other than arguing, complaining, taking things out of context and only seeing things from their perspective is exaggeration, and with the new art form of Instagram filters, exageration has became an effortless exercise, that once bouquet of wilted flowers can be transformed within seconds to a never ending bed of roses (so don't take their pictures literally).
...After
2. Everyone got engaged

It seems this was a bumper year for the diamond industry because everyone got engaged! Everyone except you! Facebook, Instagram and twitter are all full to the point of explosion with pictures of proposals, engagement rings and cute couples. Damn them and their happiness you say as they continue to rub your noses in it, you reluctantly "like" their picture, they have over 100 likes, it would be rude not to you think to yourself and you are no hater, hmm.

But don't worry single ladies, I've got a good feeling about this year, it's going to be your year, you will take a walk down the street, bump into someone, drop your books and gaze lovingly into that strangers eyes as he attempts to help you pick them up. He will become besotted with you and ask to be your boyfriend, you will conquer the world together and live happily every after (Disclaimer: If this hasn't happened by February 14th 2016 re-read this paragraph). To surmise, if you're sensitive about having noone special to share Valentines Day with, do yourself a favour and call in sick.



In reality though, it's just another day and if you really want to know it's origins and why so many people are made to feel so sh*tty on this day every year, you may want to watch this video. The origins of this celebration are more screwed up than you think. Would you care about this day if it wasn't so commercialised...probably not. Happy Valentines!

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