How To Win On Valentines Day - Part 1

There's a famous saying and it goes something like this, "there are three types of people in this world, those that can count and those that can't". Well as much as that is true for 364 days of the year. On February the 14th this all goes out the window, because on Valentines Day it's a whole new ball game.

There still remains 3 types of people yet, they differ substantially, there are those that are lonely, those that are bitter and those that take their (love) life by the scuff of the neck, these my friends are the opportunists. In this blog I'm going to give you a taster of how to be this kind of person and not only will you secure a "date" for that special day, but you may even get lucky, actually, i'm not a miracle worker but lets crack on. I'm going to make this short and sweet as the game isn't that hard.

Now at this time of year people are probably the loneliest they will ever be and for the last 2 weeks the poor souls have been unable to escape the Valentines Day hype. The newspapers are full of gifts to get your partner, you can't walk though a supermarket without knocking over a bunch of roses and films have been produced specifically to make you feel like sh*t. It has become a dreaded day, but not for you, this is the day you have been waiting for, its the day you change someones fate, your doing this for them, not for yourself, you wouldn't be that selfish.

Now those that are lonely and bitter have something in common, they both want someone to show them some affection. and contrary to popular belief, on this day of opportunity most people out there will be lonely and they will spend the majority of the day looking at their phones for a notification from their crush that never comes.

Now this is where the opportunist comes in, the opportunist is neither lonely or bitter on Valentines Day but instead are chancers and can sniff out a chance from a mile off. They pre-game, they've been planning this stuff for weeks, Valentines Day won't spring up on them like they've told you. They've been grooming you without your knowledge, they have the mind of a predator. And are in the know, he knows that if you're single, 9 times out of 10 you will be one of the above.

Lads if you are still looking to secure that "date" on Valentines Day, there are few simple steps you must follow, because trust me every lad out there is doing it, and if you haven't started yet it's going to be a quiet night infront of pornhub for you and no-one wants that, you've got the other 364 days of the year to show that kind off affection, Mia Khalifa can wait.

Step 1 -  Scroll through your whats app and message all girls indiscriminately, and when I say indiscriminanlty I mean it. You may get a few, "who's this" or "if you contact me again I'm calling the police" but it's all part and parcel. "Hey ;-)" will suffice. Get the conversation going, chances are out of your 50 female contacts you will get at least 10% in replies back. thats a whole 500% more girls than you were talking to yesterday. #Winning, You're in the game!

Lol...keep fighting

2.) Join POF or Tinder - Contrary to what peoples profiles say, they know the score, that site has a reputation for a reason. I've heard that Tinder now limits likes per day so hurry up and finish this so you can get to work, swipe right until you run out of credits then move back onto POF, repeat this cyclically until you get a reply (POF conversation starters can be offered at request).

3.) Update your profile picture with one of you holding a dog, strange but true, the b*tches love dogs. Pug or Chihuahua preferable, but any puppy will suffice. If you don't have a dog, walk to the park and borrow someone else's, get it done by hook or by crook.

He Knows

That's all for now, but I'll be back with more tips. Happy Valentines Day, Godspeed!