The Competition Hots Up!

I always said I wouldn’t be a blogger that goes on a hiatus, alas 3 months into blogging I go on undue hiatus, such as life. #Fail.

So what have I been up to that has been able to stop me, quite a lot to be honest. But high on my agenda has been my fitness regime. If you have read my earlier post you would be aware that I am currently competing in a battle against financial ruin against what I now know to be a worthy opponent. We are battling for an (almost) all expense paid trip to sunny Santorini, the land of clear skies, beautiful beaches and is a stones throw away from economic hardship.

What could motivate a man more than waking up to this view?

Probably having an ice cold beer this view

But never the less,  we are now at the half way point and the competition is hotting up.

I initially got ahead to a blazing start winning the first 2 weeks only to be pulled back to a draw after 8 weeks of competition, with the score level pegged at 4 weeks to 4 just before Jesus’ birthday. Then catastrophe hits, I’m taken from behind (get your mind out off the gutter). Its now 5 -4 and I’m losing for the first time in the competition. But what does a real champion do when they take a knock? they dig deep and find a will to fight, hence I storm to another lead.

Coming into this competition I didn’t know what affects it would have on my social calendar after all, what’s the worse thing that could happen when you agree to something when your drunk….(don’t answer that).

Is there much worse than seeing this?

Well the reality of the competition is this…on Sunday night you set your alarm and thanks to Samsung ‘s alarm clock feature you count the hours before you wake up, you stay up for an extra 30 minutes consuming media (Youtube etc), you know you will be sleep deprived, but you do it anyway…you wake up tired (no shit Sherlock), you go to work, you be amazing. But then you wonder… you wonder if your opponent is going to make it to the gym, you look at the TV guide and you wonder, you see the Champions League is on and you wonder if you can watch it, you wonder if they are going to go to the gym to get a head start on you, you finish work and all you want to do is to get home, beat the traffic, have a cuppa and watch Eastenders however…you get that dreaded snap chat….they are in the gym and you are at home like a loser, your comfortable evening of doing nothing is now tainted, tainted with the stench of defeat. You may be in the shower for a while trying to get rid of it, however it doesn’t wash out easily. They want it!

Well they may want it, but not more than me, I have had a surge in energy these previous weeks and I’m going to win this.

Current score 7 – 5 to me! Game on! 10 weeks to go!

All motivational whatsapps to get me to the gym are welcomed.

"1, 2 Harvey's coming for you, 

3, 4 better lock your door, 

5, 6 grab your crucifix, 

7, 8 I won't be staying up late, 

Why?

cos I'm gonna kick your ass! Thats why!"

#HarveysGonnaKickYourAss. Can you make hashtags about yourself? Nevermind I just did, deal with it!

The Time I Knew WWF Wasn't For Me

I was in Cancun for spring break! Whoop whoop, I was living the freshmen's dream. It was the mecca of irresponsible students, the city where biceps came before brains and where brains came to die.  The only thing of importance in Cancun was alcohol and lots more of it. The level of alcohol consumption can be analysed in this short story. On the first night of my trip I stumbled out of bed and staggered down to the hotel restaurant with the taste of tequila festering in my mouth. As I wandered past the pool I was greeted by the sounds of a group chanting "bo-dy shot, body shot!". For those of you that are innocent and unaware, a body shot is a when someone consumes a shot of alcohol from the belly button of the opposite sex. I looked at my watch to find it was10am. I repeat this was happening at 10am...I was on my way to breakfast. 

So having taken 2 days to adjust to the masculine and intense culture which was ever present in this sunshine city, my brother and I decided to lay on the beach to relax, detox, chill and catch a few rays. After all what's a holiday if you can't do that. How this innocent sunbathe ended up with myself with a near broken neck and needing a massge from a fruity looking dude with surfing shorts and hair flowing to his shoulders, still confuses me.

Do you have a sibling? Are you the younger sibling? Well if you are im sure you will feel my pain. After taking a stroll with my brother down the beach we saw a few guys play fighting in the sunshine. It looked like fun. Picture this scene, music blasting, the sun blazing, alcohol flowing, people dancing wildly on the beach; nobody had a care in the world.

This environment made me come out of my skin and caught up in the hype of the moment I take a look at my brother and say to myself, this is my chance, I'm not "young one" anymore I'm going to take him. I'm going to show him whose the "big brother". The idea of defeating my brother fizzes in my mind like a shaken bottle of lemonade and the more I think about it the more I believe in myself.  The Rocky theme beats loudly in my head. The powerful trumpets raising my pulse with every beat. I can do it! I will avenege all those times that he out muscled me, out thought me and tormented me as a child! I'm taller, leaner and adrenaline is on my side. This battle of David and Goliath is going to have a twist! 



I begin to challenge him and trash talk. He doesn't need much encouragement and accepts my offer with open arms. I circle him like a vulture, analysing his every move. We start to wrestle..."Im going to take you", I mutter, psyching myself up in the process. The iconic scene in 300 flashes through my mind, "This is Sparta!" I envision myself giving him the sparta kick into the Caribbean sea. That's for the time you sold me fireworks, took them when I wasn't aware and then told me that I must have forgotten that I used them (I was 9 years old) I mumble...but think twice once I realise I havent stretched my legs. 

Then I visualise giving him the Stone Cold Stunner...could that work in real life? "thats for the time you turned of all the lights from the fuse box and locked me in the house" I whisper, but then I realise I don't have JR comentatiing on this battle so it wont have the same affect. 

I throw caution to the wind and dive in...god dammit he's got a low centre of gravity, this may not work...I jump out of the grapple attempting to reassess my options. In my peripheral vision I see a small crowd gathering, I dive in again this time going for his legs, I've got them, surely i'll avenge my defeats. Suddenly he gets me in a headlock, I kid you not, I was in this headlock for an eternity, you could have gone home watched a full season of breaking bad, came back and still not have missed anything. My head was literally being removed from my neck one vertebrae at a time. I was being hung with both feet on the ground.

He goaded me, "give up, you know you want to"...I did want to, but pride is something that doesn't disappear easily from a stubborn mule like myself. My face is now embedded in the sand, the sand which massaged my toes only moments earlier was now an accomplice in my imminent murder. After what felt like forever, I reluctantly ate humble pie and tapped out. I took another L, but lets look on the bright side...I didn't die, i'll get you next time bro, when you least expect it.